Yes i did. but i bet you remember it.

I'm sad,jealous,feel like crying, disappointed

Saw a friend of yours post saying that he adore seeing you and him.

Yes i'm happy for you but deep in my fucking heart of course it hurts.

I thought you were just clearing your mind but... is that suppose to be a lie towards me again?

Cause i cant take it anymore. I broke down but that is the only thing i could do.

Complain to people? no, cause people will be sick of me talking about this every time.

I know you already moved on. but how about me? Let me drown in the memories?

Even at your Cuz house i keep thinking the time when i woke up and saw your face,

Someone wait for me while i'm getting ready for work, cook for me when i'm up,

Someone adore me when i'm sleeping even i pushed you away.

i when through all of that alone. Khatib? remember? all in my fucking mind dudette.

I ever try planting this feeling of ARRR fuck you! but never works. occupied time with any nonsense i can but it just dont Fucking work. tell me how i ever gonna be a strong guy?

A guy without tears. When the memories came everyone could see the expression that i gave, cause i really feel like letting it out but i didnt. even now while i'm typing,

I would die,surrender my heart, dig to reach my heart, push everyone away.

didnt you see all that when i lay it down right in front of your face.

I know i make mistake everywhere pardon me about that.

From song,pictures,bangles,shoe,clothing,facebook,tumble,friends,places.. all brought me back into the past like last time. Smell of you always make me happy.

Yes that time i asked you cuz to call you.. i heard your conversation between you and him,

Yes i was there but i told him to tell you that i wasnt and yes i am the one who asked him to call you up in the middle of the night..After the phone call my emotion was mix, to be happy or sad? I told him that i miss your voice very Fucking much. If i could i will hug you like it would be the last minute of my life. I CATCH A GRENADE FOR YOU! EVEN A PLANE I WILL DO IT!

You said this "mahd dont ever leave my life alright?" "yes Naf i wont"

that made me put all my hope on you. but end up it was flush down.

I purposely stop working to relax myself. but it just make me worst.

Ever asking how am i? that would be enough for me.

i regretted saying things when i'm angry. yes i will learn from that,

I just hope ALLAH will help me out.

no words can explain this dying feeling of my.

Could a car just bang me? Someone stab me? push me down from a flat?

Smoke to death? cry to death? list a way i will do it to stop this FUCKING PAIN!

throw me a knife i will stand FUCKING still i bet ya!

i hope someday you will see what i felt when days were over..